MY OLD MATE PETE

I realise that I haven't written anything about my trip to St. Petersburg in the May holidays with Julia and her family. That isn't because it wasn't interesting (and eventful), but because I'm busy (and lazy).

To begin with, we very nearly missed the train after going to the wrong station. It was only after I asked a Georgian fruit-seller that we realised our mistake and hot-footed it to the adjacent station. Well, three of us hot-footed it and the fourth limped pathetically behind, draging Julia's mother's huge suitcase.

Then, hot, sweaty and out of breath, we totally miscounted carriages and sat in the wrong compartment. So we were ejected from that and had to walk from one end of the train to the other, along the inside - practically jumping from carriage to carriage (there is a little metal walkway between them, but you can see the ground rushing between your feet). Suitcases are not good at jumping.

Having eventually located the correct compartment, we arrived in St. Pete's with little trouble and found the hotel surprisingly easily (the fact that I had stayed there the previous spring may be connected). Then we ran into problems - Julia's sister, Blake, hadn't been registered in Russia within three days of her arrival, and Susan, her mother, had left her immigration document in Moscow.

Receptionist: Where is the immigration document for this woman?
Me: At home.
Receptionist: Can you pop back and get it?
Me: At home in Moscow.
Receptionist: A-a-a-ah.

So there was a tense hour or so when we were sure that one of our party was to be deported and a second send back to Moscow with her tail - or rather, an outsized suitcase - between her legs. But the ever-friendly and helpful Russian service staff didn't let us down and somehow smoothed over all the problems with the visa office.

Our party had a rude introduction to the realities of Russian city life early on in the trip. We were sitting in a cafe on the main drag, Nevsky Prospect, at a window table. Suddenly one of the girls gave a gasp and we all turned round to see, on the street about six feet away from us (but luckily with a window in the way!), a gang of gypsy women and children mugging a group of elderly tourists.

The gypsies forced one of the male tourists onto the floor and succeeded in getting hold of his wallet; but as the gypsies fleed, a woman, evidently the wife of the victim and from her expression absolutely furious, grabbed a gypsy woman and began to punch her in the face! It was only after the intervention of the tourguide that the gypsy woman managed to flee, leaving several possessions and items of clothing of her own on the pavement!

TBC