THE BREAST IS YET TO COME

Another anecdote about my flatmate, Gareth. This one's a corker.

Julia's elder sister, Blake, was visiting from the States. It was her second night in Moscow and the three of us, plus Gareth, were sitting in a bar. It was the first time that Gareth and Blake had met and so they were making polite conversation, as you do.

Blake had been telling Gareth about her ten cousins on her father's side.

'I like girls with big families,' Gareth replied. Only he doesn't always speak very clearly, and Blake was certainly unused to his accent. So she heard him say:

'I like girls with big fumblies.'

Totally unphased by this, the consummate conversationalist, she replied:

'Oh, but Julia's are bigger.'