REMONT

Remont. What is remont? Remont is the bane of my life here in Russia.

Let me explain. 'Remont' is a Russian word with no exact English equivalent - a dictionary will tell you that it translates as 'repairs' or 'reconstruction' or 'refurbishment' or something along these lines, but that's not quite accurate.

Remont can apply to shops, flats, amenities, services - anything really. Remont is when a Russian takes something that is working perfectly well, then pulls it to pieces just to make sure. Having reassured himself that it was in working order before he broke it, he will then spend the next couple of weeks putting it back together. With any luck, it will then work nearly as well as it did originally.

At the moment, I have no hot water in my flat. Neither have several thousand other people in my district. When I asked how long this will go on for, I was told - for May. The whole month! So what calamity has caused this situation? One word - remont. Apparently this happens every year. The water board stop the hot water, just to check that the hot water system, the pipes etc, are working properly. After all, they wouldn't want people to have problems with their hot water now would they?

Incidentally, remont can also apply to cities. St Petersburg is currently undergoing remont, which goes some way to explaining why we could get into some of the places we didn't get in to.